C Em7 CGet on my level, Madison F
CPicture a depressed onion cutting itself Em7
C F C Em7 C F C Em
I met a Chomeless man named FRich
He wasn't,C isn't Gthat terrible?
I saw a Cflyer for a lostF dog and the Amdog didn't have any legs Em
I saw a Cdiabetic kidF Am trick or Gtreating
I Csaw a giraffe who hadF a short neck
AmThat was sad, Gor a deer
EI saw an oldF man get hitC by a Gtrain
He didn't Esee it in the pouring rain F
He didn't Chear me shout "Look out for the train" G
E 'Cause I didn't say anything
C F C Em7 C I just thought to myself,F C "Oh this is gonna be sad" Em7
C F CAnd it was.Em7 CI'm a genius F
C Em I saw a Cman with only oneF eyeC in a 3GD movie
I saw a Clittle boy drop his iceF cream cone diAmrectly on his mother's corpse Em
I saw a Ckitten stuck in aF tree then the Amkitten jumped off and he Ghung itself
I saw a Cboy who had red hair F
Am G E I went to a storeF looking for Csomething to buy G
But they only sold Epaintings of the same sad Fguy
No, Cwait! This store sells Gmirrors!
See what I Edid there?
FThe world's so sad, Madison Fm
CPain, war, genocide, racism, sexism Em
FBut I gotta remember there are good things about it too Fm
CLike the fact that none of that's happening to me, score! Em
FStill though, it's hard not to be sad about it Fm
CHow do y'all do it? Em
FI've been telling you terribly sadFm Cthings this whole song,Em Fyou haven't been sad at all Fm
CYou've been happy. No, youâve been laughing Em
FThatâs it, laughter, itâs the key to everything Fm
CItâs the way to solve all the sadness in the world Em
FI mean,Fm Cnot for people who are actually sad,Em Fbut for the people like usFm Cwhoâve gotta fucking deal with âem all the time Em
FBeing a comedian isnâtFm Cbeing an insensitive prickEm Fcapitalizing onFm Cthe most animalistic impulses of the public,Em Fitâs being a hero! Fm
CThe world isnât sad.Em FThe worldâs funny! GI get it now! I'm a sociopath!
I saw an Cold man slip and fall,F Am what a fucking iGdiot
I saw a Cwoman at her daughterâs fuFneral
AmHahaha! ClasGsic comedy!
CEverything that once was FsadAm is somehow funGny now
The CHolocaust and nine Feleven?
AmThat shitâs funny twenty Gfour seven
'Cause Etragedy will be exFclusively Cjoked aGbout
Because my Eempathy is bumming meF out
C GoodbyeG sadness
E Hello Cjokes F C Em7 C